


inside this place is warm (outside it starts to pour)

by dustywings



Series: Aegis [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 21:55:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11472453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustywings/pseuds/dustywings
Summary: She doesn’t know why, doesn’t know why she has to, but for a moment shelovesthis girl. Loves her, and loves her, and,fuck it, she wouldkillthis girl if she everhurther–[Mikasa/Annie]





	inside this place is warm (outside it starts to pour)

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a rough month, and it's about to get worse, so have some Mikanni goodness.  
> Sequel to **following my hands**.

Every time she wakes from a nightmare, it’s as if Mikasa has to as well. Annie rests at the other side of the dorm, and so it would be impossible for Mikasa to hear her – nevertheless, she does. They are in tune with each other, hating each other, loathing each other, knowing each other more intimately than they would ever admit to.

Nightmares are common amongst the scouts, and Annie suffers from them horribly.

Usually, she’s quiet. Even when terrified, Annie doesn’t let her guard down – but Mikasa can hear her gasp out, the heavy breathing, the slow, gradual remembrance that she is in a safe place. Or, as safe as she can be. Nothing can kill her within the barracks. Mikasa tenses at that thought, clinging to her pillow. Nothing, except _her_ maybe.

One night it’s the worst it’s ever been. Annie tosses and turns in her bed, mumbling nonsense, and Mikasa stares up at the ceiling, waiting for it all to stop. A part of her wants to descend from her top bunk, run over to where Annie rests, and shake her awake. Just to relieve her from whatever scary image is locked in her mind. 

But she doesn’t. She just waits. And when Annie eventually snaps out of her dream, Mikasa doesn’t hear the gasp, or ragged breathing – instead, she hears what she’s been dreading to hear. So petrified, Annie’s body buckles, gives in, and she sobs silently into her pillow. It shouldn’t hurt; it shouldn’t bother her this much, but Mikasa has always had a warm heart. She turns onto her side, scrunching her eyes shut.

**.**

**.**

**.**

‘Oh.’

The sound of sheer disappointment reaches Mikasa’s ears, and she turns.

In the doorway, Annie stands, uniform splashed with dirt. Her hair has fallen out of her bun, and her cheeks are redder than normal – sunburn. 

Mikasa rolls her eyes. _Great_. Captain Levi has ordered her to clean the barns, and clearly Annie has been told the very same. Mikasa doesn’t mind cleaning the barn too much – there’s shit everywhere, and the stench is obscene, but she’s had worse. And, in a way, she can understand Captain Levi’s obsession with cleanliness. There’s something therapeutic about it all.

She would enjoy it more, however, if Annie Leonhardt wasn’t forced to help.

‘You take that side,’ Mikasa says, pointing to her left. ‘Don’t step mud into my area – it’s almost finished, and I don’t need to go over it again.’

‘There’s hay to bring in. You can assist me with that afterwards.’

Mikasa blinks. She takes orders from very _few_ people, and even then it’s reluctantly obeyed. ‘You can do that on your own.’ She stands, grabbing her cleaning brush. Annie steps past, wandering over to the untouched side of the barn. She really _is_ dirty. ‘Did you fall over?’

‘What?’

‘You’re a state.’

Annie sighs. Holds her shovel. ‘No.’

‘No?’

‘No, I didn’t fall over.’

Mikasa watches while Annie starts work. She looks away. ‘Never mind,’ mumbles under her breath.

For a good couple of hours, neither speak. It’s one of few qualities Mikasa respects of Annie: she doesn’t have to fill in the silences with babble. Annie has her head down the whole time, efficiently yet speedily cleaning her side of the barn. While Mikasa gets back to work, she observes Annie out of the corner of her eye.

There is a certain _softness_ about Annie. She’s obviously fit, and while she is thin, Annie has lovely curves from her hips. When she leans down to clear something from the floor, her hoody lifts up slightly, and Mikasa is teased with a few inches of bare skin. She can imagine what it must be like, pressed against her, how _soft_ she must feel, unlike Mikasa who is almost like steel; firm and toned in all the right places.

She allows her gaze to wander. The hoody is crumpled slightly over Annie’s chest, flat across her stomach. The bun is messier than before from all the hard labour, her hair falling over her face, giving her a surprisingly fetching look. Mikasa clears her throat, having difficulty to pry her eyes away. She shovels some dirt, then cautiously glances back at her again.

It’s her face she focusses on this time. Her cheekbones, jawline, neck, eyes, lips. 

Mikasa remembers all too well what it was like to kiss those lips. What her tongue tasted like in her mouth, how her hands feverishly travelled around her body, desperate to cling onto something. The way they fell onto each other, pulling and grinding, wanting to be closer, but too afraid to dare venture further. 

Suddenly, Annie stops working, straightening up. She runs a hand through her hair, and frowns at Mikasa: ‘Are you _staring_ at me?’

‘No,’ Mikasa replies bluntly, disinterestedly, although her heart is racing. ‘Hurry up. I want to be finished before sundown.’

Annie raises a brow. ‘We still have a lot to attend to.’

She’s right. Mikasa has to admit, they’ve done a fine job so far, but there’s still plenty more to clean. Plus, they have the stacks of hay to carry inside. Mikasa wisely ignores Annie’s remark, and moves onto her next chore. 

At one point, Annie leaves, carrying a few bagfuls of waste. Mikasa takes solace in her absence, but it doesn’t take long until she’s back. 

‘I’ve noticed,’ Mikasa says, ‘You’ve been around Eren a lot recently.’

Annie doesn’t reply for a while. ‘So?’

‘So,’ Mikasa swallows, hard. ‘What’s going on between you both?’

‘Unbelievable,’ Annie whispers.

Mikasa stiffens. ‘What?’

‘Nothing, that… wasn’t directed at you.’ 

Mikasa turns to look at her. Sure enough, Annie has caught herself in a bit of trouble. Just when she thought she had finished clearing one of the messiest areas of the barn, she’s discovered more for her to clear behind a few boxes. 

‘Need a hand?’

‘No,’ Annie says. She wipes her forehead with the back of her hand. ‘What do you _mean_?’

Mikasa realises they’ve diverted back to her topic about Eren. ‘I think I’m pretty clear.’

‘He’s enthusiastic,’ Annie says. ‘Keen to learn. Whatever.’ She shrugs. ‘He’s very responsive to what I tell him, and I think he could learn a thing or two about self defence. That’s all, though. What do you care, anyway?’

They look at each other. Mikasa’s breath catches. She could drown in Annie’s eyes.

And she’s distracted for a second. For a _second_ , all of Mikasa’s defences crumble apart – she’s _invaded_. Her body begins to react, _violently_ , and Mikasa needs to spare herself before this shows. She rolls back her shoulders, dragging the shovel with her, positioning herself further away from where Annie stands. With her dirt-ridden clothes, red cheeks, and tragic blue eyes. Mikasa wants to _pry_. Figure out just what this girl is hiding.

Without a word, they return to work. 

It gets past sunset. Then, they’re working in the dark, and Annie has to light a few candles so they can see what they’re doing.

Eventually, it’s time to carry in the hay. They’re exhausted, beyond tired, and Mikasa is eager to get to bed before the morning drill.

They are heavy bags of hay, requiring two people to carry them in. They still don’t say anything. Annie holds one end, and Mikasa the other. They load them carefully inside the barn, tearing the bags open, and spreading the hay. As they step out for the last three, Mikasa says, ‘I care because he would do the same.’

Annie blinks. Frowns. They’re talking about Eren again.

‘Okay.’

‘If he was worried I was in any danger, he would ensure that I wasn’t. I’m the same.’

‘You think I’m dangerous?’

‘Are you?’ Mikasa stops. Annie has to stop as well, and she exhales slowly. ‘You did say – the other time – that I should stay away from you. Remember?’

‘I won’t hurt Eren,’ _not unless he gives me reason to_ , Mikasa hears her think. They pause. They remember. They both remember what happened when Annie warned Mikasa to stay away. The things which happened afterwards. 

Mikasa steps past, grabs the next bag of hay. ‘You going to help me with this?’

They carry the bag inside, carefully placing it down. 

While Annie unloads the hay she’s conscious of the fact that Mikasa is hovering. Watching. She stops, looks up at her with sharp, sad eyes. 

‘Besides,’ she dares, ‘It doesn’t matter to you. I’m teaching Eren for his own good. Get off my back about it. If you _really_ have a problem, then approach him.’

‘I hear you at night. You cry yourself back to sleep.’

Annie widens her eyes. She goes pale. Drops the bag. ‘... the _fuck_?’ 

‘What are you running away from? Are you here because you want to be, or is there another reason?’

‘No. No, you–’ _you don’t get to do this. You don’t get the upper-hand. You don’t get to win_. ‘That is none of your concern.’

Mikasa reaches for her. Annie reacts. 

Mikasa catches her fist. Annie tries to pull away. Mikasa pushes herself towards her, disabling her balance, destroying her posture and ability to defend herself. Before Annie can tumble backwards, Mikasa snatches her collar, yanking her forwards. 

And Mikasa’s eyes are glowing with fear, anger, a sheer will to protect Eren until the bloody end.

‘I’m right. Aren’t I?’

‘Get off of me.’

‘You have nightmares as well. Except yours… yours are _ugly_. Which makes me think you’re not here out of your own free will.’ Mikasa inhales sharply. ‘Thing is, I have no idea who you are. Where you’re from. And that…’ _bothers me_. ‘I have no reason to trust you at all. What’s stopping me from finishing you here and now?’

‘What _is_?’ Annie challenges. ‘Do it. You’ve hated me from the start, so just _do it_.’

‘If I do, would anybody miss you? Would anybody _notice_?’

Annie is silenced.

Mikasa’s exhale comes out shakily. Because she hit Annie where she’s vulnerable, and it’s _shocking_. 

Then: ‘You would.’

Mikasa is quiet for too long. 

Because it’s true. She would notice. If Annie disappeared, she would notice, and she would _care_ , and, _fuck_ , it isn’t supposed to be this way.

She lets Annie go. ‘Let’s get back to work.’

Annie doesn’t protest. She follows Mikasa out of the barn, and when they pick up the next bag of hay, Mikasa is rough and impatient. Annie strains from the extra weight, but they manage to successfully carry the bag inside. 

Just as they’re about to collect the last one, Mikasa pauses. 

‘I would kill you,’ she breathes. ‘If you hurt him.’

Annie doesn’t say anything.

It’s the first time she’s found Mikasa genuinely frightening. The first time Mikasa has genuinely felt _uncertain_ around her.

Mikasa expects some kind of response. But Annie’s silence leaves her on edge.

She wonders – _do they both dream about the same thing?_ She wonders if they’re more alike than she would like to admit. If she would kill Annie if she hurt Eren, or if she hurt Mikasa in turn. If killing Annie might make it all better, or far, far worse.

But she’s tired. She has been tired for _years_ , and this war is driving her insane.

Annie moves towards her, and they both think she’s going to attack, she’s going to hurt her, so Mikasa immediately reaches for her; _grabs_ her, all her defences shut down, and her mind going mad, and they gasp, tense, ready to _hurt_ , to bleed. Foolishly waiting for the other to attack first, to initiate another fight between them, and to ensure this one results in a corpse.

Then Annie tugs at Mikasa and kisses her.

They crash into each other clumsily, teeth knocking, a harsh intake of breath. Mikasa retreats momentarily, unable to comprehend what just happened, how this could be happening again, how Annie is able to break down her barriers just like that, and when she looks at Annie it’s one of the worst decisions of her life. They’ve taken each other out, and now Annie is _vulnerable_ , and wonderfully open, and so _mortal_ –

Mikasa grabs her face between her hands, kissing her roughly, destructively, desperate, _wanting_. She moans into her mouth, the sound enough to make Annie shudder, pull at Mikasa’s shirt. They lose control, freely allowing themselves to fall together, and Annie’s lungs are already about to collapse from the severe lack of oxygen. 

She can taste blood. Mikasa accidentally bit her lip, _tugged_ , and now she can taste blood. She drags her hands through Annie’s hair, loosening it from the untidy bun. Annie starts to back away slightly, to compose herself, to _breathe_ , but Mikasa won’t let her. She won’t, she _won’t_. A desperate, muffled noise escapes her when she presses her lips to Annie’s, and it becomes hideously clear – she needs Annie to hold her, kiss her; _needs_ her, and if Annie _dare_ walk away now, after everything, then God help her, Mikasa won’t know what to _do_.

Prying open the buttons to her shirt, Annie pushes her chest against hers, before pulling her shirt apart. Annie’s hands soar across her naked stomach, her waist, up her back. She gasps when Mikasa kisses her neck, below her earlobe, scattering kisses across her jawline, her tongue like _fire_ on her flesh, wet and hot. Annie can’t take it. This is all _so much_ , and it feels incredible, it feels as if she’s going to burst into flames at any second.

They’re already sore from the day’s work, and they want to make it worse for both of them. Annie hisses between her teeth when Mikasa _squeezes_ her breast beneath her hoody. This is where she’s delicate, where it _hurts_ , and Mikasa _wants_ it to hurt. Impatiently, she helps Annie out of her hoody, throwing it aside, and Annie isn’t given a moment to _breathe_ , because Mikasa’s lips are already on her stomach, pulling the straps to her bra. 

Annie sighs, closing her eyes, removing the bra, and allowing Mikasa to take the initiative. Annie exclaims loudly at the sensation of Mikasa’s lips on her breast, her tongue grazing her nipple. Her face contorts in pain when Mikasa uses her teeth, and Annie buckles forward, pulling at Mikasa’s hair, _daring_ her to make this worse. And as much as Mikasa wishes it weren’t true, Annie tastes of something beautiful, heavenly, and her breath is _wild_ , her heart hammering against her ribcage, fierce enough for Mikasa to hear.

When Annie falls into her, Mikasa can barely maintain her balance. They collapse, shaking, panting, rushing; they’re running out of time, and they’re starting to panic. Mikasa pulls at Annie’s waist, dragging her body into hers. Her breasts are soft, tender in her palms and she massages them, her tongue in Annie’s mouth, and Annie beginning to unbuckle the 3D Manoeuvre straps around Mikasa’s waist.

The straps are such a _hassle_. So fiddly to put on, and so clumsy to remove. Mikasa bucks her hips, helping Annie pull at them, and they’re removed bit by bit, freeing Mikasa from her chains. Annie is tense all over, trying to get Mikasa’s trousers off. She needs them off. They’re irritated with the layers which protect them. Mikasa digs her nails into Annie’s waist, drawing blood, pushing her mouth onto hers, and they kiss hungrily, greedily, and then the trousers are removed, and their skin is naked and littered with the scars of their Manoeuvre Gear. 

Mikasa isn’t gentle. She switches their position, slamming Annie onto her back, rocking her knee between her legs. Annie groans, jarring her teeth. It shouldn’t–oh, God, it shouldn’t make her _this_ way. How Mikasa makes her feel, what she’s _doing_ to her. How much she _needs_ Mikasa to touch her, touch her and touch her. 

_I would kill you._

_I would_ **_kill_ ** _–_

‘I want you.’

Mikasa moans softly, lowering herself to kiss her. They’re a tangled mess, and it’s almost tragic how they are like this in the dark of the barn, their clothes dirty, their bodies in need of nursing, and too exhausted to care. They rock into each other, and Mikasa’s hand dangerously lurks at Annie’s abdomen, timid and cautious. 

Neither have done this before. And neither imagined they would do this with a lover. Not really. They aren’t the type. But neither comprehended they would do this _with each other_. Yet Annie doesn’t want anybody else, and Mikasa wouldn’t be able to _handle_ the idea of anybody else. She needs her, they both need each other, and it’s _devastating_. 

‘I want you, too,’ Mikasa whispers against her lips. Gasps. ‘Just– _you_.’

Annie grabs her wrist, and guides Mikasa’s hand to her warmth. Immediately Mikasa pushes her finger inside her, but only slightly, needing them to adjust. Annie is wet, warm, _pulsing_ , and she hasn’t let Mikasa’s hand go yet. She helps Mikasa find a rhythm, encourages her to go deeper, to push and rub her thumb against her clit, while the rest of her sinks deeper. Annie knocks her head back, closes her eyes, and exhales shakily.

It doesn’t take much for Annie to feel the first few waves of her orgasm. She moves her hips, wanting more of her, crashing their lips together in a pathetic attempt to silence her moans, but what comes out is a high-pitched, strained noise from the back of her throat. Annie goes stiff, urgently grasping onto Mikasa, her chest heaving. Then she comes, letting out an exclaim, pausing while her orgsam ripples through her, before exclaiming again, louder this time. 

They refuse each other rest. Annie doesn’t require guidance. While Mikasa works Annie up to her next orgasm, Annie caresses her warmth, finding her clit and pinching it slightly. Mikasa sighs, dropping her head, conscious of the fact Annie’s fingers have started to slide in and out of her. And it’s _amazing_. Wonderful. Oh, God, her body has never felt so good. Never, never has she felt so much at once, so many _good_ feelings at once.

She moans, kissing Annie, picking up her rhythm. Annie inhales, spreading her legs, allowing her more room. They hold each other, their breasts rubbing together while racing towards a release they’re so frantic to reach. When Mikasa comes, Annie has to watch – she is completely _undone_. And her face reveals _everything_. The trauma she endured as a young child, having to live with herself for so many years, and protecting somebody other than herself, because God _forbid_ anybody love and care for a monster that is she, and then for Annie to just–

‘Don’t stop,’ Mikasa pants, Annie helping her through her orgasm, ‘ _Don’t_. Please don’t.’

Annie wouldn’t dare. They meet each other halfway, pressed together, kissing deeply. Mikasa aches, pulsing, and Annie barely has to touch her, she’s so sensitive. Mikasa watches Annie take her, how her fingers glide inside her warmth, and then back out again, how she _takes_ her. Mikasa rocks against her fingers with each movement. Mikasa shudders, slowing down, unable to focus on so many incredible sensations at once, and then suddenly her world spins, and she’s on her back.

When Annie tastes her, it’s overwhelming. Mikasa gasps. Annie’s tongue glides over her clit, and she sucks, pressing her hands into her thighs. Mikasa lets out a cry. She struggles, needing something to hold onto, but she’s lost, and Annie is pulling her part. She doesn’t know why, doesn’t know why she has to, but for a moment she _loves_ this girl. Loves her, and loves her, and, _fuck it_ , she would _kill_ this girl if she ever _hurt her_ –

They make love until they’re trembling, and aching, and sore. Until they’re completely worn out, and unable to go on. Until the sun rises, and they’re still kissing, caressing each other back to their feet. To start again. Try again. Fight this mindless war neither of them want to be a part of. Annie gently runs a hand through Mikasa’s hair, strokes her cheek, tilting her head while they kiss. This is their own. For a while, what they have together is _theirs_. 

Annie dresses more quickly than Mikasa does, but she’s struggling with the buttons to her shirt. She can’t stop _shaking._ She still hasn’t caught her breath yet, and they’re both in a daze, confused, wondering what happens next, what has to be said; what this means. If anything. But they’re both girls who don’t depend on language to express their emotions.

While Mikasa fastens the 3D Maneuver Gear, Annie says, ‘I have to go.’

Mikasa doesn’t respond. She continues fastening the straps. Then, Annie comes forward, and, without warning, kisses her lips. And this kiss is different. This kiss is soft, this kiss is tender, like something only a lover would share. 

And Mikasa kisses her back. She kisses her back, because what happened _does_ mean something. 

They linger. 

For a moment, they linger, and then Annie uses all the energy she has left to turn away, and walk out of the barn.


End file.
